The Times They Are A Changin'

 

"If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'."

I'm no stranger to moving and change. Between my two sets of parents and renting as an adult I've tallied up 28 houses in as many years. I can only imagine what all those boxes might look like in a football field! Through the years, I learned very well to cull and clear as I went along. But ofcourse, you make yourself at home in a place and you start accumulating more 'stuff'. It's easy to add things here and there to make yourself feel more at home in a space. You're not thinking about the fact you may have to move in a year or two - screw that, that's way too long term. You're not thinking about what it will look like then - You're just thinking about being at home in your space now. Over the last few years this hasn't been much of an issue. I've moved from house to house and there has always been space for my 'stuff'. But moving from house to unit - now there's a different conundrum altogether. And moving from 'my' place to 'our' place is an added ingredient in a cocktail of busyness, excitement, stress and summer.

Right now I have what I'm going to call 'the sandpit syndrome'. I don't want to share my things and I'm reluctant to let them go. Even though I know there's not enough room for all of them in the sandpit. Even though I know they're just things. Even though I know they won't all suit the 'style' of our new place. Even though I know I don't 'need' them all. Even though I know how we want our new place to look and feel. Even though MR has been entirely amazing when it comes to choosing furniture and bits and pieces for our unit. Even though I know he loves me and my style and it's not that I and they don't 'fit' or 'belong' in our unit. Even though, even though, even though.

I've realised that I've been having a bit of an internal struggle, a slight reluctance about taking that next step into 'we' land. There's that well known fear that you're sacrificing or losing part of yourself and your independence in becoming part of a couple, which I acknowledge as probably being one part silly, one part entirely valid and one part real. Now to be honest, this is not at all surprising. MR and I started dating 3 years ago and it took me 6 months before I could say the word boyfriend without having a panic attack and a further 18 months before we decided he would move in. It's been baby steps for me in this relationship and MR has been so amazingly accommodating of all of my shit feelings. 

The fact that only almost 3 years down the track we have bought a house together - well I think that's a pretty great thing in this little love story. A together activity. And something I am so unbelievably excited about I simply cannot wait for. We simply cannot wait for. To have our own home. Somewhere we belong. Together. I can't even explain how amazing that makes me feel. (And how much I hope it will bring my house to age ratio down from here on in.)

I know that the 'things' I'm giving up pail in significance to what I'll be gaining, but I've realised just recently that has been a bigger deal for me than first thought. And ofcourse it's jut the sandpit syndrome really isn't it. It's the fear of change. Of letting go. And the adaption to things not just being about you anymore. It's not actually about the things, it's about the mental and emotional shift that comes with the transition and compromise of 'me' and 'mine' to the 'we' and the 'our'. 

Here lies the next chapter in our book. And a significant one at that. And maybe the most frustrating thing of all is that we're in this silly limbo phase, waiting to move in. Where the rental looks like a tip because we sold all of our furniture and can suddenly see all of the junk that was stored in said furniture. Where we have piles of stuff waiting for the garage sale this weekend. Where we've bought a bunch of great new furniture (our furniture) that we can't have until we move into our unit. And that move is now just under 4 weeks away, but everything in between makes it feel like an age away. 

I appreciate this change. I want this change, deeply. Parts of my body are literally aching for it (this may or may not be from all the furniture moving and packing of late). There is nothing more exciting to me right now than feeling completely at home with the man I love. I can picture us in our kitchen together, drinking tea on our new couch together, sitting in our little courtyard together. I can see our friends and family there. It is ours. All ours.

I know the time will fly and we'll be packing and moving in no time at all. And when we walk in the doors, all this internal (now a bit external) battling will probably melt away. Or maybe it will stick around for a few months until we've settled in - who knows what the next chapter will hold. For now I'm going to allow myself this time to process. Process the excitement and the anticipation equally. I've got to say, recognising this feeling has allowed a little bit of freedom from the guilt I was putting on myself for it. It's also given me the perspective I needed to appreciate this moment of change and Bob Dylan's words have never felt wiser.

How do you deal with change? Did you have trouble transitioning to a 'we'?  

It's not always black and white

A beautiful friend of mine recently gave me this absolutely precious book. We both share a particular sense of humour that often erupts in a fit of silliness, hilarity, the silent-gasping-for-air-giggles, strange looks from passers by and tears-streaming-down-face-belly-aching laughter. Generally over, well absolutely nothing on a Thursday afternoon. (The one above is my absolute favourite!)

 This beautiful book It's not always black and white by Kate Napp, echoes this silliness as well as providing some beautiful affirmations that just make you smile. It was too sweet not to share. 

Don't you just love the 'well balanced birds'!
Hope this brightens your day as much as it did mine.

With thanks to Andrea x 

On the move

The first few months of this 2014 are all about moving for me.

I've already had a move of desk with my Comms team being moved into a different location in the building at work. Setting up my new work space made for an easy transition back into the world of work after a much needed two week break over Christmas.

Also in the world of work I'm having a move of positions; taking on an event management position that I'm really excited about and I'm sure will keep me very occupied this year.

I've had this little cyber move new Prickles and Pearls ofcourse, and i look forward to sharing so many things here this year.

But the biggest move of all is the one coming up in a mere 37 days. The one into our very own home! Our first home. Together. (You can read about my initial excitement about buying a house on Tumblr.) My sweet, sweet man MR and I bought a sweet little unit in November and on the 21st February we finally get the keys and will have a home to call our very own. A humble sigh of absolute bliss wells up and is expelled from me every time I even think about it. Our. Own. Home.

Both of us have moved one too many times before, so this time we want to make sure we're really organised for a (hopefully) seamless move. The goal: to get everything moved in one truck load. Whopa! Just like that. With us moving from a house into a unit, there is much clearing out, purging and selling to be done before the big move. Next to none of our furniture will fit in the unit so we're selling up and buying new which is a nice feeling. So it's been a busy start to the year putting Operation One Truck into motion. Sunday morning (at 5am!) with my car Sgt Peppers packed to the hilt, we went to the Swap Mart at Karrinyup and offloaded a bunch of crap bits and bobs to local bargain hunters. I parted with some things for an absolute steal but others I wasn't so willing to part with for nothing (like the Mollini shoes I'd worn once that someone offered me $5 for. I don't think so!). And later that day I posted a few pieces of furniture on Gumtree. By 9pm that night we'd sold both of our wardrobes, the spare bed, fridge, coffee table and bookcase. Winning!

The last few days have been mad with us cleaning out fridges and wardrobes, helping people remove furniture from our house, moving everything else around the house to get said furniture out. The house is absolutely filthy! But it is a freeing feeling watching things walk out the door. The physical watching of spaces freeing up, has freed up space in our minds to focus on other things as we get ready for our move - and that's the most exciting feeling of all. We're on the move!

Do you find moving exciting or daunting? Any words from the wise on minimalism?

New year, new blog

So it’s a new year, and here I am on a new blog. I’m El, dreamer and procrastinator extraordinaire. The latter of which I hope to work on…always.
For the past two years I've been writing and musing on tumblr and for those wonderful people who followed me there, I’ll still be there every now and again but in a different capacity. I loved tumblr for the inspiration I found there – mainly pictorial, but this year I want to focus more on writing and I think Blogger is a better platform to join that community in a more rounded way. So here I am – thanks for having me.

Happy 2014!

I’m not making resolutions this year. Too many new years have I made list upon list of things to achieve and too many years I’ve not even come close to actualising that list. This is both due to my insane ability to set exceptionally high standards for myself (seriously – that’s a bad idea, rarely do high expectations result in increased self worth – generally you just end up down on yourself for not reaching the mark) and an equally great ability to procrastinate. 

So this year I’m doing things a bit differently and I think come January 1 2015, I’ll have a smile on my face and I’ll be able to look back and say ‘Was my year what I wanted it to be?’ and I'll be able to answer that question with a resounding 'Yes'. This year I’m proposing a theme, a focus; three words that will be my 2014. And along with my adoration for alliteration – this year(coincidentally), they all start with ‘H’. 

Happiness. Health. Home.

I look forward to sharing all of these things with you, here on Prickles and Pearls.

 
Do you set new years resolutions? What are your goals/themes/words for 2014?